Chapter Seven- How Parents Can Help

The Story

When we last saw the princess she was almost 21 feeling sorry for herself...

As we start chapter 7 it seems the princess has tears in her eyes and she does not seem to notice or care that the May flowers are beginning to blossom and the sun is shining brightly. I could care less too but whatever. The princesses father asks what the matter and she says "Oh nothing, I just... oh, if only a knight would come and rescue me in my distress." He father wants to know what her distress is. i want to know too because all she does is sit in that stupid castle all day. The princess is sort of a complainer... Perhaps if she went out and SOCIALIZED she wouldn't be a crab! Anyway, she goes on about how she isn't betrothed and not great knight has sought her hand and she is BECOMING AN OLD MAID! Yep you heard it here and OLD MAID! And her father who I must say is not the brightest crayon in the box asks if she is not happy. NO DUH! The princess says she sometimes is.

The king goes on to tell her that she has accomplished so much in her years and they have been useful. Her bright light has reached many. I have to say apparently it has not reached the prince ha ha. She complains some more by asking how long she has to wait. Her father with so much wisdom says, "If your heavenly Father told you, then it would not require any faith on your part. You would not learn the lessons or gain the rewards that directly result from waiting." She agrees but wishes her her wait was almost over. She then takes her father down memory lane and brings up the Spring Fair and how he said it was alright to go but she must be a candle and a rose. The king remembers and brings up Sir Eloquence. Really Sarah Mally? like we don't remember the first half of this story?

So she then asks permission to attend the Merchants' Fest in Carnalville. I guess it is a dangerous and a foolish party so all of us would probably like it ha-ha. She goes on to say that's he knows there will be dancing and evil talk but she would be careful to stay away from evil company. She understands she is not trying to search for a husband but perhaps she should go just so she can meet more men because she is almost twenty-one. I say go have fun your an adult but alas I am not the author of this story- who is thirty and unmarried. They go on about how she doesn't fear but her father does. the princess thinks her father worries about everything.

The king then recites, "The prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on and are punished."

The princess says to her father that the alligator speaks of the festivities and the social banquets to be enjoyed. The king replies, "The alligator eats the scum at the bottom of the moat" Sarah bolded alligator. The princess says the other maidens are going and she will stay with them. They mingle with the young men and the gator says that is healthy (and it is). The king reminds her she is a princess but the alligator has dragon's blood in his veins." Can anyone tell me if that is true? Cuz that would be really cool! and others (AKA the villagers) do not understand that a little foolishness ruins the testimony of one who has wisdom and honor and they don't have him as a father. Others do not represent. I wanna take a moment to give a shout out to my dad who is awesome and if I told him I was going to this Fest he would totally be cool with it!

The princess wines again that everyone is going to the Merchant's Fest. Her father goes, "When you chose to follow the way of purity, did you expect it to be easy? When you decided to wait for the best, did you think that waiting would be fun? Did you think that your faith would not be tested? When you decided to take the narrow path, did no one warn you that difficulties, hardship, and tears would be part of the journey, and that you would often face rejection from others and be forced to walk alone? My daughter, that which you wait for the longest you treasure the most, and through much struggle the prize is won."

Then her father turns to leave to go into the palace and the princess is left to think by herself. She begins to cry... again.She leans against the bridge and watches a few ducks and before she knew it... she fell in. Sorry I added the last part. The tears attracted the gator (no chapter can be written without our pal). Sarah calls the gator a persistent friend. Funny how the gator is a friend... The gator says, "So , you finally are realizing that your plans are failing. Well it is about time thou camest to thy senses. The princess says she doesn't wish to talk. The gator goes on to say, "Ahh, but you do. You want to tell your whole life story to someone who wants to hear every detail, to someone who loves and admires you, to someone who holds you close, to-" The princess replies, "Well, alright, but I do not want to talk to you. The gator continues "You need not. Just listen. For I believe that now is the time to reconsider your ways and to allow yourself to grow up. Thou hast no reason to cry. The Merchants' Fest is a week away." She then goes to say that her father doesn't want her to go and the gator says he never said you couldn't go because he was listening in on their conversation. The princess says perhaps he would let her go but he says it would not be wise. The gator reminds her that she is a woman, not a little child and she doesn't have to follow every little suggestion from her father. The princess says that she has always valued the counsel of her parents. The gator gives her a suggestion, "Get out of the nest where you are so comfortable and explore the new and different. You can be careful in Carnalville. That's all your father really meant, anyway." The princess goes on , "No, that is not all he meant. He meant much, much more." the gator then asks, "So what will you do, silly princess? Stay here and wait for a handsome knight to appear?" The princess replies that she doesn't know and asks to "Please let me be by myself!"

And we will till chapter 8...

Sarah's Advice

Okay we have heard a lot about parents and their counsel. I will still try to give you a bit of what Sarah says I just will not repeat what she keeps repeating... if that makes sense :)

A Special Provision From God

Since it is hard to go into a marriage without scars because the world is just so evil the Lord provided special assistance to guide us through, to give us wisdom, to protect us, and to help in any way we need it. The Lord gave us... drum role please... PARENTS! Over and over, Proverbs reminds us of the value of listening to our parents' instruction. parents are a gift from the Lord. Yet often we reject the very thing that God intends for our happiness, good, and protection. The young lady who is committed to God's best and desires to establish safeguards in her life will realize the tremendous protection the Lord has given her through her parents. God is the One who has set in place all human authority, and He works through it to accomplish His good purposes in each of out lives (Rom. 13:1, Eph. 6:2-3).

Imperfect Parents

Some readers might not have christian parents or may not have parents at all but Sarah wants to be quick to mention that God will always be faithful to provide the help you need. He gave you those parents who are not perfect for the perfect plan in your life. If you don't have parents, remember the Lord Himself becomes a special Father to those who do not have earthly one (Ps. 68:5). If your parents are not believers the Lord can still work through them. Of course, if they give you counsel that conflicts with clear teaching from God's Word (such as encouraging you to marry an unbeliever), You should obey the Bible, no matter what the consequences might be. Perhaps the Lord gave them a Christian daughter so you can work through them. She then puts in Romans 8:28. God can also work through other sources- perhaps your pastor or a godly older couple at your church.

For most of us, however, this special help we need will be provided through our parents. This does not mean that parents make all the decisions, but it is noteworthy to recognize that in Biblical times parents were often involved in choosing their children's mates, and fathers were held responsible for their daughter' purity (Gen. 24, 28:1-2, Ex. 34:16, Dt. 7:1-4). She tells everyone not to panic- She is not talking about arranged marriages. Parents love us and they would never force us to marry someone you didn't want to marry but Sarah would also not want to marry someone without her parents' input and blessing. God works through our parents. We should not be scared of parental involvement but thankful. I'm bolding this line... Sarah says, "I'm sure you would agree that getting married is one of the most important decisions we will ever make- much more important than whether or not we go to college, what interests we pursue, or where we live. We should be grateful for our parents' protection and willingness to be involved. Our parents know better than anyone else does, and they desire the very best for our lives (Hey thats what Jim Bob says all the time) We should also take our parents advice seriously because they have more experience and understanding than we do.

Seven Reasons To Send Young Men To Your Dad

If a guy expresses interest in you- send him to your dad first- It can have many benefits

1. Your father will respect you and know he can trust you.

2. You and your dad will be a team working on this together.

3. The young man will respect you. Even if he is surprised and finds this to be completely new concept, he will still respect your conviction.

4. If the young man won't go ask your father, then you know he is not the one for you. It is a good way to screen guys.

5. If your aren't interested in a persistent young man, well, you can let your dad explain to him-makes it easier for you! :)

6. If he does go talk to your father, your dad will probably see things in this young man's life that you did not see. He will be able to give you caution, wisdom and guidance.

7. If this is the right young man for you, he and your dad will start off their relationship on the right foot. From the beginning they will respect each other and have good fellowship. This is going to be an important relationship in the years to come.

Don't Keep Secrets

Its a story but here is the moral- don't keep secrets from your parents.

Embrace the Safeguard

Tell your parents everything- yes everything. Sarah knows it will be difficult but humble yourself, especially if you feel that your parents have also been wrong. But remember, the Lord exalts those who humble themselves. It is a promise (see James 4:10).

Also listen to the advice from your parents- they may have cautions you didn't see. It is difficult to submit but just do it. Honor your father. Ask the Lord to strengthen your relationship with your dad and to give you ideas about how you can honor him in your daily life. It takes effort to serve, submit, and communicate with your father, but God promises blessings for those who do. In addition, it will be very meaningful to your dad and important preparation for your future marriage. Speak well of your father to others. Pray for him everyday. Ask him to give you direction in ministry. Express gratefulness for the things he does for you. This attitude is greatly pleasing in God's sight (I Peter 3:4-6)

Take this commitment card have have your dad sign it also.

She quotes Provers 10:17 and Proverbs 6:20

Obstacles to Parental Involvement

Sarah is hoping you see that parental involvement is a good thing, something to be grateful for, and a valuable gift from God. Of course, it is not always easy to humbly receive it. The enemy will work hard to keep us from the blessings found in working together with our parents. Here are two difficult obstacles he places in our way:
1. Damaged Relationships
Satan seeks to destroy our relationship with our parents by stirring up bitterness, anger, and rebellion. Obviously, this will be a huge hindrance to the strong, healthy, working relationship that is needed in order for parents and children to be able to freely discuss important topics like marriage. That is why it's essential to clear up any past offenses and to work on being close to our parents now.
2. Cultural Influence
The world is against us. The world is telling us to do things opposite of the Biblical way, to be independent from our parents, and to make our own decisions, Therefore, we must realize that this is just another area in which we as Christians need to be willing to stand by following God's way and honoring our parents.

Benefits to Parental Involvement
1. Wisdom and caution from someone older and wiser-who loves you and has your best interests in mind
2. Valuable insight in evaluating a young man's character
3. Help Protecting emotions
4. Caution when your headed in a wrong direction or not aware of danger
5. Accountability
6.Help Discerning the right steps and the right timing
7. Freedom that comes from knowing that God will work through earthly authorities.

The Suggested Memory Verse is
"My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways" (Proverbs 23:26)

There is a suggested assignment and a testimony from Grace Mally. Same ol' stuff...

I'm going to try to write 2 chapter reviews tomorrow. No promises but check back :)